on Tostitos Multigrain Rounds

I'm addicted, and here are some reasons that you should be, too.

• "Multigrain" is a buzz word that makes you feel healthy, even if they really aren't.
• They taste saltier than the white corn variety.
• Being stale makes them arguably better, because they crunch more.
• The round shape is excellent for dipping.
• Frequently on some sort of special.

I think that five reasons is enough. I'll stop there.

Haircuts for Lemmings

Yah, that's right: haircuts for lemmings. You read that correctly. And I'm serious. Except I'm the lemming.

Last year a few of my friends organized an event called Cut for a Cure, a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society. Money was raised, pies were thrown, heads were shaved. It was a good time. I MCed, received no pies to the face, and didn't let the clippers near my head.

This year I'm joining in.

The event isn't until the spring, but the CCS accepts donations year round. I've set my goal as $250 (collectively, the UBCO group raised $8000ish last year), which is a pretty expensive haircut. Those of you who have me on Twitter (@jackerbie) have probably seen the link to my event profile page already, but I'll share it again for those non-Tweeters:

http://cancerevents.kintera.org/jackerbie

That's my quick schpiel. Now, have you ever been a social activist lemming? What for, why, and what became of it? I wanna know what else I can get into this year!

a Photoblog: Dilapidated

There are three things you can tell from this post: I enjoy photography, vocabulary, and architecture. Enjoy!

all photos by me

Fifteen Key Authors, expanded

Today I was tagged in one of those chain notes on Facebook. It wasn't about a girl with no nose or skin who might come kill me tomorrow night, or the plight of a legless, goatless boy in the mountains of Peru. No, it was a simple question: who are the 15 authors who have most influenced you?

Since I did an influence map a few days ago, I figured I might as well answer this question and post the results here. So, here goes, in no particular order.

Tad Williams. He writes really big books. Like, 700 pages apiece big. But ever since I read War of the Flowers for the first time (of five), I've been hooked on his writing.

Sergei Lukyanenko. Technically, I guess I haven't read any of his work. Rather, I had the joy of waiting around for his translators to make his original Russian novels available in English. He's my anti-Twilight.

C.S. Lewis. I grew up in a white, Christian family in the West. Need I say more?

Madeleine l'Engle. I started reading her work before I even had a clue what a mitochondria was, and loved her fiction even then. Now, I appreciate it so much more.

Ursula K. le Guin. She's a crazy lady, but in a good way. Most of the time. It isn't too often that I can apply gender theory so well to popular fiction.

R.A. Salvatore. Drizzt was one of my idols, no lie. And I'm pretty sure my Forgotten Realms books were passed around half of the male class population in grade 12.

Greg Keyes. I've only ever read a couple of his books, all for the Star Wars franchise. Really, it isn't him who is impacting, but the quotes in his novels. Foremost: "Everything I tell you is a lie. Every question I ask you is a trick. You will find no truth in me." Sound familiar?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Again, I grew up in a white Christian household in the West. 'Nuff said.

Dr. Seuss. There was a time when I could recite some of his entire works by rote. I also studied one of his books in first year English. Rad, eh?

John C. Wright. I only just discovered his novels last summer, on account of the awesome cover art, and luckily the writing was as good as the art. His work with Greek mythology makes me squee like a schoolgirl.

Homer. Where would I be without the Odyssey? Seriously.

Banana Yoshimoto. I think she might have the same vague obsession with windows as I do. With her work, you're never quite sure if you're getting fiction or not.

Lewis Carroll. Every day I look at an excerpt of his, regarding the ability to believe impossible things. Apparently the Queen can believe six impossible things before breakfast, and that impressive.

Murakami Ryu. I've only read one of his novels, but I'll be on the lookout for more fersuure. His imagery will stick with me for a long, long time, twisted as it is.

H.P. Lovecraft. Gotta love me some Cthulhu!

So, that's my list. Care to share an author or two of your own? Think of it as a sort of book swap, minus the books. Savvy?

Kings and Queens of Drag

So, today was Spirit Day. Y'know, the purple-shirt event I blogged about a few weeks back? Yah, that's the one. I'm glad to say it was a super success! Many many hugs were given, even though I have no blue in me. Funny how that works.

We (yes, I wasn't alone in this. I'm not crazy, y'know) had many mixed reactions, from the enthusiastic spinning hugs to people ducking behind bushes to avoid us. Some people didn't know how to say 'no,' so they had their personal bubbles invaded. Others walked up wanting a 'post-midterm hug,' which we were more than happy to give. It was a good time.

Now, I bet you're wondering about that blog title: Kings and Queens of Drag. Well, I'm taking an anthropology of gender class, and it is finally starting to become interesting. The article I just finished reading featured some theory by Judith Butler, and one particular idea just can't be banished from my mind.

We're all in drag.

Think about it: what makes it natural for a man to dress and compose himself as "masculine?" Or a woman as "feminine?" By putting on those dresses and heels on Friday night, ladies, you're acting out gender. Guys, when you rock the oxford with a double-windsor you're performing gender.

Crazy, huh?

As a closing note, I'd like to say that the image is a promotional shot from the film Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I love that film to death. I highly recommend it to everyone. Yes, it's LGBTQ in nature, and a musical, and on the artsy side of film-making, but give it a chance.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna change out of my torn blue jeans and leather jacket and go to sleep.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch promotional photo (c) New Line Cinema

on Not Going Under

First off, a big thank you to Chris Corner and Sue Denim. Those of you who read  my Influence Map post should remember who Chris Corner is. Why am I thanking him again? Because while I was getting my wisdom teeth taken out, this is what I was listening to:







And yes, when I say "this is what I was listening to" I do in fact mean that I chose to be awake for the whole procedure (minus the parts where I fainted). It wasn't that bad, even. They froze me up real good so I couldn't feel any pain, but the pressure still registered a little. I even kept my eyes open for most of it, which was really strange when the dentist started putting in the stitches.

But the best part?

Afterwards, in the recovery room, it was decided that the multiple times I fainted were caused in part by low blood sugar, since I hadn't yet eaten that morning. The solution? One of the nurses brought me a Dixie cup with apple juice. She was the cutest most grandmotherly nurse I have ever met. Anyways, she had to force feed me the juice because I wouldn't find my own mouth, on account of my lips and jaw being numb still. My tongue was also numb, so she had to tip back my chin and literally pour the juice down my throat, making an effort not to drown me in it.

That would be a sad way to go.

"Man drowns in apple juice after dental operation."

What are some other embarrassing headlines to announce that you've kicked the bucket?

video footage from the French film Les Chevaliers du Ciel (2005)

my Influence Map

Have you ever taken a step back and asked why you are who you are? It's not really something you think about too often. It's not something I think about too often. But now is not often; I just pondered those thoughts.

The result? This:

please click for full size view

Pretty nifty, eh? It took some work to put together, and even more work to actually think about. I tried very hard to use only photos that I have taken, but that started to limit the representation of my influences. Here's a bit of an explanation for each one, frame by frame.

Spirituality: I was raised in the Seventh Day Adventist church and attended Christian elementary and high school, so religion played a big part in my development. But not just Christianity, or just religion: I've taken bits and pieces of other philosophies, too, probably like the majority of people out there. (photo by me)

Chris Corner: He's a musician, the front man of IAMX and co-founder of the disbanded group Sneaker Pimps. As with the other artists on this map, it's his way with words that has influenced me most, as well as the messages in his lyrics. (photo by Vera Hofmann)

Sia Furler: Another musician, Sia embodies the childlike, carefree, but mature and political adult. She is outspoken in both her art and in her public life. (promotional photo, no listed creator)

Metric: A Canadian band, with singer Emily Haines at the front. Really, I think it is Emily who influences me the most, but I have to give the rest of the band credit, too. I could listen to their latest album Fantasies all day, and frequently do. (photo by me)

Star Wars: Do I really have to explain this one? The films, the books, the entire mythos behind it all. I was raised on Lucas Arts, and continue to be influenced by the franchise today. (photo by We Made This Ltd.)

t.A.T.u.: I always get lots of flak for enjoying the group t.A.T.u. Most people recognize the girls from their two (English) hits in North America, few know that they lasted as a group for ten years. Once their presence completely faded away in North America I knew I'd never be able to see them perform live. I beat that impossibility, though, by seeing them in Italy while backpacking. (photo by me)

Greek Myth: Besides being a Star Wars nut when I was a kid, I had a major soft spot for Greek mythology. I adored the stuff. I read Homer's Odyssey for fun, only to read it again in AP Literature and then bang my head against my desk in second year English because no-one knew what it was about. (photo by me)

UBC Okanagan: Where do I even start with this one? Moving away from Vic has probably been the single most impacting thing I have ever done in my 21 years of life. It completely changed the direction of my education, earned me a tonne of new friends that I know I can count on for almost anything, taught me so much about myself through living with (completely rad) room mates each year, and given me so many opportunities to experience things I never would have tried if I had stayed in Vic. That about sums it up. (photo by UBC)

Mirrors: I should probably also add windows. I have a strange fascination with them, and both often show up as motifs in my writing. (photo by me)

Island Living: Whenever I need an excuse and don't have anything valid, I usually just retort with, "It's 'cause I'm an island boy." (photo by me)

Home: What do I need to say about this one? My family has had a significant impact on me, and will continue to. I have amazing parents who are determined to present me with every available opportunity that approaches, and a sister who is pretty much my best friend. That, and my family (including me) is rather cooking-oriented, so I'm never starved for baked goods. Ever. (photo by me)

Now, what has influenced or impacted you? Feel free to answer in the comments, or write your own post about it. You can find a blank template for the Influence Map here.

Minor Philosophy

If you had the choice between living for only six more months, but knowing those six months would be the happiest of your existence, or living a long but ultimately unsatisfying life, which would you choose? Why?

That was a question posed by my friend Ana Cristina to me via my Formspring account. My answer was less than satisfactory:

Six more months. It comes down to a personal philosophy I have, one that would take an entire blog post to explain. Huh, maybe I should get on that sometime.

Well, sometime has now arrived I believe, so I'll make an effort to explain that piece of personal philosophy here.

I once read an analogy about the pain-pleasure binary, long before I was studying these sorts of relationships at university. In fact, I think I might have read this particular analogy before I was in high school, even. It is as follows:

"Two men are standing on level ground, each with a large pile of bricks. Both are challenged to build a high tower with their pile. The first man immediately starts to stack his bricks, overlapping in such a way that the structure is sound. The second man instead takes a shovel and begins to dig a hole. Laughing, the first man taunts him.

"'We have the same number of bricks, fool! By starting your tower lower than mine it will be impossible to build one higher.'

"The second man smiles, but doesn't reply. Once he is happy with the depth of his hole, he begins to stack his bricks, emulating the pattern of the first man. The first man continues to taunt him.

"After some time, the second man's tower has achieved the same height as that of the first man. When the first man goes to start the next layer of his tower, it starts to wobble and sway. He braces it with his hands, but realizes that if he continues to build upwards the structure will fall.

"Seeing this, the second man smiles once more. Supported by a firm foundation, he continues to add layers of brick to his tower, winning the challenge."

The bricks represent the men's happiness, the ground their experience of pain or unhappiness. Even if the two men's towers had been equal in height, the second man would have used more of his bricks in constructing his.

Don't get it? Try to remember a time you were at your most sad state, at your lowest, if you will. One of my friends lost her best friend last year, and I wasn't sure what to do. Remember, I'm a green - I don't do well with emotional matters. So I wrote a short note reminding this friend that she had a whole family of supporters here at the university. I slipped the note under her door when she was in class with a teabag. She still maintains that that was one of the most thoughtful and caring things that anyone has ever done for her.

A note and a teabag.

Because she was at such a low point, coming back up to level ground was an enormous jump in her happiness.

Is this starting to make sense?

Now, back to the question at hand: would I rather take 6 months of bliss or a lifetime of mediocrity. There's a second part to my happiness philosophy that is integral to the answer I gave. Again, this will probably be most accessible if I frame it as a serious of questions to you.

Think about the best day or week you have ever had. What made that time so amazing? Likely, it was because something little went just right, and things kept going up from there. That's the key: things kept going up. The most recent experience you have becomes your base for comparison. Taking a very green approach to this, to continue being happy you need to have a more positive experience. Anything less will cause you to be unhappy, and experiences at the same "level" will likely not elicit any emotional response.

Look back at the example of my friend: had she been at level ground or in a state of happiness at the time, my gesture would have meant very little to her. Yes, she might have been thankful for my thoughfulness, but it would not have impacted her emotionally in the same way.

Savvy?

I think this post is becoming much too long. Feel free to fill up the comments section with questions, critiques, or your own personal philosophies.

tower photo by me

Weekend of Food, part two

I am now back in the sunny Okanagan (not to say that Vancouver Island wasn't equally sunny), and I brought home quite a bit. Movies to watch, books to read, banking to do. And food. I probably brought about 3 or 4 dozen cookies on the plane. Why?

Because my house in Vic was consumed in a baking frenzy all weekend. First I baked cookies. Then my mum baked cookies. Then she baked more cookies. Somewhere in there a pie and a cake both appeared. And muffins. All over the course of about three days.

But that's only the beginning. If I were to give you the itinerary of my weekend home, it would look something like this:

Saturday
Pre-flight Timmy's; donut and hocho consumed.
Post flight Timmy's with sister; donut and hocho consumed.

Sunday
Grilled cheese sammich; cheddar, salami, mustard, and pickles on brown.
Baked cookies; oatmeal cherry chocolate chip.
Thai red curry with the fam.
Two movies with the fave cousin; cookies eaten, popcorn consumed.

Monday
Pancakes for breakfast.
Lunch out with Shawn; sammich!
Timmy's with Kayla; donuts and hocho consumed.
Thanksgiving dinner made; turkey, stuffing, potatoes, balsamic onions, gravy, apple-raspberry pie, pumpkin spice cake.
QV's with Alex; blackberry cheesecake and chai tea consumed.

Tuesday
More cookies baked. Muffins also appeared from nowhere.
Timmy's with Jen; donut and hocho consumed.
Leftover Thanksgiving dinner for lunch.
Leftover Thanksgiving dinner for dinner.

As you can see, I might have a bit of a Tim Horton's addiction. Juuuust a little bit. It doesn't help that there's a Timmy's on campus, either. Oh, and that mysterious word hocho? It's short for hot chocolate. I'm a lazy West Coast Canadian like that. I can't be bothered with all the extra syllables. Same with the word sammich. You'll just have to accept the fact that I'm rad like that.

Pictures of the baked goods will be coming in a future post, likely titled Weekend of Food, part three. Awesome sauce.

Cookie Monster would be proud. Right, Cookie?

Weekend of Food, part one

Because I am a Canadian, I get to celebrate Thanksgiving this weekend. This also means I get to go home! Together, these things mean that many favourite things will be eaten. Let's just say that right now I feel like this:

Omnomnom!

Cookie Monster, Ernie, and Zoe all (c) Sesame Workshop, footage from TLC

Bits and Bobs

This is an update post, 'cause I'm not feeling very focused today. Prepare yourself for a little randomnimity.

I have a Formspring! You don't even have to go over to my Formspring page to ask a question - there's a handy little widget off to the right. Use it well. I'll probably answer every question that gets sent to me, but only the best will make it onto the blog. I'll probably put up a Formspring post once a week. If you're not sure what Formspring is, it's basically a website that allows you to ask me any question you can think of under the safe guise of anonymity. Handy, eh?

Last night I took the plunge and wiped my MSI netbook. It was starting to run a little slowly, but instead of just defraging or running a clean-up wizard I uninstalled the OS and replaced it with Ubuntu 10.04 Remix for netbooks. So far I love it. All of the functionality of the hardware has remained, which was my biggest fear when switching over. My new favourite feature? There's a photo booth program, like iPhoto on a Mac. The best part? There's a Hulk mode. It turns your skin green, the background purple, and whitens your teeth. RAD!

Final update: I have a bucket of kettle corn and caramel popcorn. Heck yes.

That is all.

hulk photo of me by me

Purple Shirts and Social Causes

If you have Facebook, you've probably seen at least one event in the past few days about wearing purple of the 20th of October. You might be "attending" one, you might have ignored it. You might not even be sure what this whole purple thing is about.

Well, I'm here to tell you.

Over the past few months, six young men have lost their lives to suicide because of bullying. These individuals were bullied because of their sexual orientation, and each of their lives were ruined and eventually taken by the actions of their peers.

So on October 20th, people are rallying against bullying by throwing on a purple shirt. The organizer calls it Spirit Day. It's easy to do, and, although it doesn't do too much by itself, it shows solidarity and support, and raises awareness among youth. Some of you might remember the pink shirt campaigns to combat bullying: supporting a child who was bullied for wearing a pink shirt to his school. These boys didn't stick out because of the shirts they wore, they "stuck out" because of personal choices they each made.

I'm taking this day a step further.

As I mentioned, wearing a purple shirt won't do too much to combat attitudes toward various lifestyle choices. At my school, the University of British Columbia, I'm organizing a Free Hug Day event on the 20th, to coincide with the Spirit Day event. With help from our Pride Resource Centre on campus, I hope to be able to not only show support and hug some people, but also deliver information and resources to those who need or want it.

I encourage all of you to support the purple shirt event, and to become involved in local LGBTQQA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, queer, questioning, and ally) organizations throughout the year. Note that "A" on the end: it stands for "Ally." An ally is anyone, regardless of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity, who stands up for the human and civil rights of LGBTQ people.

Now, if you don't mind, I have some planning and networking to do

update, Oct 8th: It seems that I'm not the only one looking to run an event on campus that day. October 20th will now host a 2-part event: the aforementioned Free Hug Day, hopefully with the Pride Centre and the Equity Office on hand, as well as an equality and diversity night in one of our residence buildings, again with the Pride Centre and Equity Office present. Maybe we'll even rent the campus theatre and show Rent afterwards. This is snowballing so quickly!

wristband photo by me

Resolutions, an Update

So a week-ish back I posted a list of things I want to work on over this school year: my New School Year Resolutions. Here's how I'm doing so far:

I have a few post card recipients lined up. All I need to do is purchase the cards. My aim is to pick some up while I'm in Victoria for the Thanksgiving weekend.

The running hasn't started yet. I'm still playing volleyball twice a week, and am slowly getting back into a yoga routine, though. Once I re-establish a decent sleep pattern things should get easier.

In my cupboard I have whole grain pasta, spinach pasta, and brown rice. Fibre, check.

A week isn't really enough time to "branch out" from the staples. Besides, I did a lot of eating out this past week. However, I also ate in at my friend Kalun's place the other night, so that's another goal covered.

In my opinion this blog counts as writing. Plus, I've been throwing the odd work onto Protagonize, and responded to a few of the prompts on Marc's Daily Writing Practice. Who knows, I might actually make an attempt at NaNoWriMo this year.

The name game is making very slow progress. Like, at a snail's pace. But, remember that I proclaimed the snail to be a devoted and hard-working creature. I'll get there.

I've also succeeded on eating less more often. Really, this equates to me eating more, which is the end goal. I've also taken up breakfast again. What would I do without cinnamon raisin bagels? Here's what: go to Timmy's every morning.

Finally, the complimenting. I'm a green, as you all know now from my True Colours post, so I don't really do the whole touchy-feely thing. I've gotten better with the whole hugging concept (y'know, reciprocating the hug and all), but I'm still not a compliment-er. Maybe I should just scratch that one off the list and make it "Give sincere hugs more." Meh.

Haiku, a True Story

Where there's smoke, fire;
a little bird told me so.
Damn! My toast is burnt.


Inspired by actual events and Marc's Daily Writing Blog.

Speaking in Circles

I like being the centre of attention at times. Who doesn't? I think that's why I tell stories. When I'm telling a tale or recounting an experience I have an audience, and their entire attentions are focused on what I'm saying.

That's also probably why I started up this blog, again, for the third time. Past editions included "Simple Innocence," "Jackerbie: Builder of Worlds," and "Coffee-clotted Inkings."

And now, "I only speak the truth."

It's a quizzical title that relates back to me being the centre of attention and the act of storytelling. As a kid I would spin all sorts of stories, some obviously fiction and others an attempt at telling it like it is. I had this obsession with "one up-ing" other people's stories, like most kids.

"I got a new Lego set over the weekend."

"Cool. I got one too, but it's the new Aquanauts one with the two sharks."

I must interject by saying that I'm very impressed that, for some reason or another, my spell check isn't underlining the name "Aquanauts." Rad.

Anyways, so that was me as a kid, sometimes actually telling the truth, most other times, well, not. Kids embellish, y'know? Even adults embellish. But upping your own ante has a strange way of influencing your thoughts. Suddenly, you are being completely truthful, at least in your own eyes. You've repeated the same white lie over and over again until it's become transparent.

And then it's your own truth, and so truth is all you speak.

my Caffeine Landscape

I'm sitting in one of the many Starbucks I frequent as a student, and just finished reading two of the articles I wish to use in one of my research assignments. But this isn't about my assignments, or about my experience in Starbucks; it's about a concept that is now starting to make sense to me.

Nature isn't a thing, it's a relationship.

Think about it for a moment: what exactly do you define as nature? The forest outside town? The park down the street? The moss growing in the cracks on your walk? Now, try to come up for a definition of nature that can include all those things, but exclude all the things you feel aren't nature. It's hard, isn't it?

That's because nature isn't a thing, but a concept. Nature is nature because it is outside of yourself, because you define it by what it is not. You walk through nature, appreciate nature, maybe you even fight for nature, but yourself are never really part of nature, are you?

Nature is something with ownership. Nature is something with value. Nature, then, is something that can be sold, right? It isn't sold that often, though. What is sold is the experience of nature, the park pass or the kayak rental or the guided tour. Again, nature is something to be experienced.

Just thought I'd share that, since it's consuming my thoughts at the moment. Now, I'm studying culture (read: ideologies and power structures) and human/social geography, so that puts a bit of a slant on my views. Care to help correct that? What did you come up with to define nature?


pinecone photo by me

Proposals, of the Academic Sort

Today is the second of October, and yet I'm already having to research my term papers. Not just conceptualize them or toss ideas about in my mind, oh no. I have to find the articles I plan on using, read said articles, and write up reviews of those articles regarding their use towards my thesis. Might I mention that these papers are not due until December, and we've had only a month of classes. I'm not even sure what to expect from the courses at this point, much less figure out a thesis that is relevant to the course materials.

Can I start pulling hair out yet?

All that said, I actually do have an idea of what I want to write about; I just haven't found the necessary scholastic material to beef up my proposals. Here's what my two term projects look like at the moment:

For Culture, Space, and Politics I've been assigned a group (composed of some pretty awesome folks). Our plan is to write a blog (surprise!) about our experience with geography in Kelowna. Me? I'll be bringing my Cultural Studies side to this project, likely looking at issues of social structures and power relations. Sources? Zero of three.

For Geography of Tourism Development I have to write a traditional term paper. Right now I'm considering writing about the Maori of New Zealand, and how their culture (a phrase I have trouble with, as the culture shown in ads isn't really Maori culture, but a construction of what traditional Maori culture should be to interest tourists) has been appropriated to be a tourism commodity. Sources for this one are a little more promising, with one definite article and two others possibly coming from the course packs of two other classes (I love overlap).

Now, what do apples have to do with geography research assignments? Actually, you'd be surprised. But I'll spare you those details, and instead say this: spot the metaphor. It's a pretty basic game, I hope you can do it!

apple photo by me

Just Another Friday Night

I'm what's called a Residence Adviser. This means a lot of different things at a lot of different university and college campuses, but at UBC it means that I am in charge of building a strong residence community and ensuring that the Residence Code of Standards is followed.

In short, a lot of what I do is not fodder for this blog in a legal sense. Heheh.

What I can say is this: tonight I asked someone to put out their cigarette, since he was smoking in front of the air intake for the residence building. It's kind of illegal here in British Columbia. He didn't want to. So I got a little less polite and a little more forceful, throwing out words like "illegal" and "ticket-able offence." Still, he wouldn't budge. In fact, he wanted to fight me over it. So what happened next?

"Girls, could you call security? Thanks."

What would bring someone to want to fight another person over something as simple as putting out a cigarette? Seriously. Sometimes these university students, who are obviously smart enough to be admitted to UBC and retain student status from year to year, blow my mind. I just... don't understand it. Am I missing something?

Oh, and thankfully they guy's friend came and helped out. I got an apology and a handshake out of the deal, and I called off security.

And that's a short snippet of what I do here at UBC.

edit: it's currently 3:06AM, and I am obviously not in bed yet. Instead, I'm doing paperwork. Paperwork. At 3AM. Rad.